I feel like crying and sneezing at the same time.
Not necessarily simultaneously, but both feelings are strong :/
I feel very icky.
I was just surfing through YouTube, like I do, and being mad at the new thing going on with the sub box, when I started feeling really low.
It kind of takes a certain type of person to be a YouTuber, and I don't think I have it. I'd be a person who just hides and doesn't meet people because I'm scared they won't like me.
And what I realized is that most of the best YouTubers all over seem to be 18-20ish. I can't help but acknowledge that I am not in the same age group, exactly. In March I'm going to be 17, but that doesn't mean that we'll be on the same page.
I want to meet them, want to be like them, want to be one of them...But it's more like an idealistic thing. Like I think they are great, but irl I doubt I would ever really get along much with most.
This makes me sad, and my confidence takes a dive. I don't know if there will spawn another generation of YouTube as the younger ones come into that place, but I still don't feel like I could do it. I just wish I could :'(
I want to be great somehow, but I don't think I ever will.
/dies
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
GREEN DAY
Ohhh.
OOOOOOOHHHH.
I SAW GREEN DAY.
And you know what?
There were a lot of people on their phones.
Billie Joe said "Tell them to fuck off. This is OUR fucking party."
So I won't be telling you any more, the end.
JUST KIDDING! (but he really did say that.)
BEST EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE SO FAR.
So first win was immediate. We run in, straight towards the merch, and get into a giant crowd that was supposedly 'a line.' However we are persistant, and got my shirt pretty quick. I brought $40 for a shirt, thinking it was plenty, and they were marked as exactly $40. I was worried about tax, but it was exact so I had just enough!
Then we ran in and got in our seats, which were far back and at the top on the left of the stage. We're waiting and worrying about whether we will be able to see, when we notice the banner. THE BRAVERY. We didn't know who was opening and we freaked out. I love them!
In between The Bravery and Green Day, a drunk pink bunny stumbled onto the stage. I freaked and started poking my mom, going looklooklooklook! Look at that! We watched in amusement, (I was giggling the whole time,) as the bunny moonwalked (drunk,) humped the stage, log rolled, slid down a railing, and chugged his beer. It was beyond epic.
While we watched him running back and forth and rolling around on the stage, we reached the conclusion that it must have been Billie Joe himself. I mean, he's a little guy, and runs the same as the bunny, and was doing weird things that I would expect him to do. I've searched around and can't find any mention of who it was. I actually only found one concert review that was kind of brief. So the bunny is 'escorted' off the stage by a guard, and we continue waiting for Green Day.
The whole Key Arena was doing that thing that crowds do when they get excited. It's where one person will scream as a false alarm, but by the time they realize that, the whole place is screaming "WHERE?! WHERE ARE THEY?! AAAAAAAAAAHH!"
They opened with 21st Century Breakdown, and went full on into a high energy, amazing, show. I felt like they were friends of mine by the end of the show. Billie Joe is like a little ball of energy, bouncing, hopping, dancing, and running around throughout the entire show! I wish I had been one of the people who got to hug him.
People who got yanked from the crowd and thrown on the stage include: "Who's this little shit? Get him up here," which was some little boy, some girl who got to sing into the mic while he played guitar, another girl got to shoot a super soaker, and some older big guy that took two guards to lift onto the stage who walked up and kissed Billie Joe a big one right on the lips. Billie Joe just kind of went, ok then, and continued on while the guy sang to the crowd. The best was a guy who told Billie Joe that he could play all his songs on guitar. He said "You swear to god? Get up here," and he got to play Jesus of Suburbia on Billie Joe's guitar! He was extremely good and it blew my mind. I got a picture with him after the concert when I saw him outside, and I bet he felt famous.
Billie Joe told us that Green Day's new home was Seattle, WA, and we all screamed our heads off. He also said that we didn't miss him half as much as he missed us, and supposedly the band now belongs to Seattle :D After the concert ended, I spent the whole time we were supposed to be looking for the car wishing I could just run back in there. I know the concert was finished and that they had left, but I felt like as soon as I was gone they kept the party going. I felt like I knew them and didn't want to leave without meeting them officially, but I drug myself out. I still am all pumped up and wish I could party like that every day of the rest of my life.
Loves (this time, specifically to Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool, and Mike Dirnt)
I love you <3
OOOOOOOHHHH.
I SAW GREEN DAY.
And you know what?
There were a lot of people on their phones.
Billie Joe said "Tell them to fuck off. This is OUR fucking party."
So I won't be telling you any more, the end.
JUST KIDDING! (but he really did say that.)
BEST EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE SO FAR.
So first win was immediate. We run in, straight towards the merch, and get into a giant crowd that was supposedly 'a line.' However we are persistant, and got my shirt pretty quick. I brought $40 for a shirt, thinking it was plenty, and they were marked as exactly $40. I was worried about tax, but it was exact so I had just enough!
Then we ran in and got in our seats, which were far back and at the top on the left of the stage. We're waiting and worrying about whether we will be able to see, when we notice the banner. THE BRAVERY. We didn't know who was opening and we freaked out. I love them!
In between The Bravery and Green Day, a drunk pink bunny stumbled onto the stage. I freaked and started poking my mom, going looklooklooklook! Look at that! We watched in amusement, (I was giggling the whole time,) as the bunny moonwalked (drunk,) humped the stage, log rolled, slid down a railing, and chugged his beer. It was beyond epic.
While we watched him running back and forth and rolling around on the stage, we reached the conclusion that it must have been Billie Joe himself. I mean, he's a little guy, and runs the same as the bunny, and was doing weird things that I would expect him to do. I've searched around and can't find any mention of who it was. I actually only found one concert review that was kind of brief. So the bunny is 'escorted' off the stage by a guard, and we continue waiting for Green Day.
The whole Key Arena was doing that thing that crowds do when they get excited. It's where one person will scream as a false alarm, but by the time they realize that, the whole place is screaming "WHERE?! WHERE ARE THEY?! AAAAAAAAAAHH!"
They opened with 21st Century Breakdown, and went full on into a high energy, amazing, show. I felt like they were friends of mine by the end of the show. Billie Joe is like a little ball of energy, bouncing, hopping, dancing, and running around throughout the entire show! I wish I had been one of the people who got to hug him.
People who got yanked from the crowd and thrown on the stage include: "Who's this little shit? Get him up here," which was some little boy, some girl who got to sing into the mic while he played guitar, another girl got to shoot a super soaker, and some older big guy that took two guards to lift onto the stage who walked up and kissed Billie Joe a big one right on the lips. Billie Joe just kind of went, ok then, and continued on while the guy sang to the crowd. The best was a guy who told Billie Joe that he could play all his songs on guitar. He said "You swear to god? Get up here," and he got to play Jesus of Suburbia on Billie Joe's guitar! He was extremely good and it blew my mind. I got a picture with him after the concert when I saw him outside, and I bet he felt famous.
Billie Joe told us that Green Day's new home was Seattle, WA, and we all screamed our heads off. He also said that we didn't miss him half as much as he missed us, and supposedly the band now belongs to Seattle :D After the concert ended, I spent the whole time we were supposed to be looking for the car wishing I could just run back in there. I know the concert was finished and that they had left, but I felt like as soon as I was gone they kept the party going. I felt like I knew them and didn't want to leave without meeting them officially, but I drug myself out. I still am all pumped up and wish I could party like that every day of the rest of my life.
Loves (this time, specifically to Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool, and Mike Dirnt)
I love you <3
Thursday, June 18, 2009
First Job
Today, in one hour, I will be leaving for my first day of training at my first job. I applied to work in the kitchen at a camp near where I live, and I apparently skipped the dishwashing step and jumped right into prep-cook type work. I'm not too nervous about the actual work, because the ladies there are very nice and welcoming, but there's a little bit of tension in my house right now that is causing a bit of overall anxiety. After my mom and sister head out to run some errands, I will be alone for a little while before I leave. Hopefully I can calm down enough to maybe enjoy my first work experience.
This morning I also set up a tumblr account, which is www.thesebrighteyes.tumblr.com
So, as I mentioned before, I have wi-fi now, so I hope to update soon.
Love <3
This morning I also set up a tumblr account, which is www.thesebrighteyes.tumblr.com
So, as I mentioned before, I have wi-fi now, so I hope to update soon.
Love <3
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
WiFi!
We have WIFI!!!!!!
Yes. Hell yes.
I can now blog from my room, rather than in the kitchen with my family walking around reading.
Next order of business is to get a WoW 30-day card. I'm dying, it's just out of reach.
I also want to buy The Sims 3. I am one of those fans that buys most of the attachments and waits like a spaz until the next one comes out. I have been awaiting The Sims 3.
Oh yes...the dance...it was really fun! It was about as good as I expected it to be, which is kinda awkward until I lose it and boogie myself out, then its a party. I brought Claire, who had never been to our school's dances, and it was great. I only was asked to dance once, but he was very nice and kind of shy and nervous, and really tall! Thanks for the dance, tall boy :]
A fact about me...I have juvenile rhumetoid arthritis, and it was in remission for nearly two years, but now it's back in at least four joints. I have to take a steroid called Prednazone (or however you spell it,) and I hope it kicks in soon. It's pretty painful some days.
My doctor actually told me about an arthritis camp, and I am supposed to go like next month or so. I hope I meet some cool new people. My eyes are practically falling off because I have been wearing my contacts for around 14 hours, so I'm off to bed.
<3
Yes. Hell yes.
I can now blog from my room, rather than in the kitchen with my family walking around reading.
Next order of business is to get a WoW 30-day card. I'm dying, it's just out of reach.
I also want to buy The Sims 3. I am one of those fans that buys most of the attachments and waits like a spaz until the next one comes out. I have been awaiting The Sims 3.
Oh yes...the dance...it was really fun! It was about as good as I expected it to be, which is kinda awkward until I lose it and boogie myself out, then its a party. I brought Claire, who had never been to our school's dances, and it was great. I only was asked to dance once, but he was very nice and kind of shy and nervous, and really tall! Thanks for the dance, tall boy :]
A fact about me...I have juvenile rhumetoid arthritis, and it was in remission for nearly two years, but now it's back in at least four joints. I have to take a steroid called Prednazone (or however you spell it,) and I hope it kicks in soon. It's pretty painful some days.
My doctor actually told me about an arthritis camp, and I am supposed to go like next month or so. I hope I meet some cool new people. My eyes are practically falling off because I have been wearing my contacts for around 14 hours, so I'm off to bed.
<3
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Getting Used To This
I am still getting used to this website. I am a twitter-er, so saving up all my little thoughts into something bigger is hard. So to return to something I posted before, it turns out that a meditation is a paper where you kind of meditate on a subject (never would have guessed!) and feel out (or up) the subject by pondering your own questions and prompting people to wonder on their own. Or something. Ha.
Tonight I am going to a semi-formal dance at my school, the last one of the year. The theme is time warp, and I am riding in with my sister and four of my friends. My sister, Mom, and my friend Casey are going to go shopping first, and that should be really fun. So for those of you that know what a time warp theme would look like, here's how I match it. My dress is just above my knees and has the scratchy stuff that makes it poofy underneath. It is black, and the part that covers the boob area is white and strapless. I have a lacy little jacket-thing to wear over it, and today will be getting shoes and lacy tights. I'm excited! I want to rat up my hair a little and wear some cool glasses and red lipstick. I hope its as awesome as it is in my head.
I've been really up and down lately, and twitter knows this. I tend to post on the upswing into a good mood, and the fall into a bad one. I'm not just moody, I think there is something really bothering me that I just can't quite get to. Example: I buy pink/reddish pants and am in love with them. Erin says they are too short and its terrible. The rest of my day is spent feeling like I don't deserve to walk on this planet, and later I realize it's just because she trashed my confidence. And things keep adding up, and I freak out. Blech.
Yesterday was one of those days, and I drove to school really angry and crying a bit. I get there and head in to American Sign Language, and saw a twitter post from 3sixty5days (Stephen Byrne, look him up,) that said "Lesson of the day: No matter how shit you think things are, they'll always get better <3" and I replied "@3sixty5days Prove that to me and maybe I'll stop feeling like shit on the bottom of someone's shoe." Now I reply to people on twitter all the time. A lot. And I never get any sort of acknowledgement from people with more that 2,000 followers. 3sixty5days has 2,438 followers, and during ASL I got a txt from twitter telling me I had a DIRECT MESSAGE, not a reply, from 3sixty5days that said "Hope everythings ok <3" I nearly crapped my pants during class. I showed people but they don't know who he is (he's in Ireland,) and they didn't care, but thank you Stephen for caring! I love you for being real <3 It made my day, but I can't direct message him back because he is not following me. :(
Btw, I got more blonde put into my hair (already a natural blonde,) and it's kinda cool.
Loves,
Megan
Tonight I am going to a semi-formal dance at my school, the last one of the year. The theme is time warp, and I am riding in with my sister and four of my friends. My sister, Mom, and my friend Casey are going to go shopping first, and that should be really fun. So for those of you that know what a time warp theme would look like, here's how I match it. My dress is just above my knees and has the scratchy stuff that makes it poofy underneath. It is black, and the part that covers the boob area is white and strapless. I have a lacy little jacket-thing to wear over it, and today will be getting shoes and lacy tights. I'm excited! I want to rat up my hair a little and wear some cool glasses and red lipstick. I hope its as awesome as it is in my head.
I've been really up and down lately, and twitter knows this. I tend to post on the upswing into a good mood, and the fall into a bad one. I'm not just moody, I think there is something really bothering me that I just can't quite get to. Example: I buy pink/reddish pants and am in love with them. Erin says they are too short and its terrible. The rest of my day is spent feeling like I don't deserve to walk on this planet, and later I realize it's just because she trashed my confidence. And things keep adding up, and I freak out. Blech.
Yesterday was one of those days, and I drove to school really angry and crying a bit. I get there and head in to American Sign Language, and saw a twitter post from 3sixty5days (Stephen Byrne, look him up,) that said "Lesson of the day: No matter how shit you think things are, they'll always get better <3" and I replied "@3sixty5days Prove that to me and maybe I'll stop feeling like shit on the bottom of someone's shoe." Now I reply to people on twitter all the time. A lot. And I never get any sort of acknowledgement from people with more that 2,000 followers. 3sixty5days has 2,438 followers, and during ASL I got a txt from twitter telling me I had a DIRECT MESSAGE, not a reply, from 3sixty5days that said "Hope everythings ok <3" I nearly crapped my pants during class. I showed people but they don't know who he is (he's in Ireland,) and they didn't care, but thank you Stephen for caring! I love you for being real <3 It made my day, but I can't direct message him back because he is not following me. :(
Btw, I got more blonde put into my hair (already a natural blonde,) and it's kinda cool.
Loves,
Megan
Friday, May 29, 2009
First Post
My first blog post on this site, and I can't think of anything to say.
My cat is rubbing on my legs, which scared the crap out of my because I am wearing shorts :)
Today I went into the college to register for my fall classes, (which will be my first college courses,) and now, since that is out of the way, I can stop stressing that and relax!
For five minutes.
I have high school still, too, you know. I have a pretty big project due for ASL mid June, and a written response to the book 'The Soloist' due pretty soon. I am doing a meditation on homelessness, which I am not clear on the definition of that and haven't really started.
Tomorrow I will need to get crackin' on my room, since we are apparently having a buttload of people over for a bonfire/tent-camping/badmitton-playing type party?
I will at least have Stacy. We will bring the party! And then crash it heh heh.
That was the suckiest blog post ever, but it will do for now.
Loves <3
My cat is rubbing on my legs, which scared the crap out of my because I am wearing shorts :)
Today I went into the college to register for my fall classes, (which will be my first college courses,) and now, since that is out of the way, I can stop stressing that and relax!
For five minutes.
I have high school still, too, you know. I have a pretty big project due for ASL mid June, and a written response to the book 'The Soloist' due pretty soon. I am doing a meditation on homelessness, which I am not clear on the definition of that and haven't really started.
Tomorrow I will need to get crackin' on my room, since we are apparently having a buttload of people over for a bonfire/tent-camping/badmitton-playing type party?
I will at least have Stacy. We will bring the party! And then crash it heh heh.
That was the suckiest blog post ever, but it will do for now.
Loves <3
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